Are you really happy, or just comfortable?
Well, well, well.. I never know how to make an introduction! It's probably the hardest thing for me to start when I actually sit down to write -
Keeping it short, simple and sweet (like me)
Hello!
Welcome back to the blog & to the first post of 2019! *Drum roll please!*
How crazy is it to think that another year has gone, a new one has come & so much to accomplish is ahead!
This is definitely my year - I feel it in my bones & I know you guys feel it too!
so I hope you've all been kicking serious ass this past first (full) week of the new year!
Personal moment: I could not believe how much feedback I received on my last post of 2018! Especially the part about my vulnerability - I thank everyone who has read and was kind enough to share their feedback.
I wanted my first post to be something you guys could relate closely to.
What am I going to be rambling on about in this post?
Let's dive right in!
Comfortability
Verb
Com·fort | \ˈkəm(p)-fərt
A feeling of relief or encouragement.
Contented well-being.
When you think of the word comfo(a)rt, (I’m childish whatever, I know) what comes to mind? Sense of peace, clarity and ease - right? Comfortability and being comfortable are such tricky things in this life. We as people tend to find comfort in any and everything - even things that really don’t comfort us. We continue to stay accustomed to certain things because being comfortable is easier than making a change. We sell ourselves short without even realizing, just to be what, comfortable? This doesn’t make you a horrible person by the way - being comfortable is usually the goal, but it’s the kind of comfort we get accustomed to that makes all the difference. You’re allowed to have moments that aren't always the best ones. (We have all been there!) It's a new year, things are changing, always for the better - how about we disrupt that comfort once in a while? Do something out of that c-zone, how many opportunities do you think will come knocking if you actually made that attempt?
Think about it..
This applies to:
Work,
Work relationships,
Personal ones,
Friends,
Family,
& everything else going on in your life -
Let’s not cling to a mistake just because we spent a lot of time making it.
Also, let’s try to understand the difference between what deserves time and energy and what really is just a mistake being made.
When I say mistake, I don’t mean making them is something we should not do - its the fact that we fall into these thought traps that because we spent so much time on an idea, or a project or even a person that we must stay because all of those efforts will never be given back, which in actuality is true, but isn't that what we are taught life is all about anyway? We pick and choose what we give our energy to and we learn from the experience it brings to us. Only strong people (& we are all strong, its finding the strength that makes it the hard part) can really pull themselves out of a comfortable situation to go and strive for better.
Take it from me when I say it's not easy.
Now,
content is a state, whereas happiness is a moment. Put the two together - people, like myself, fall into this content state because of the small gesture of happiness that one specific moment brought to us. It's like when you see that friend who so badly needs to dump his/her boyfriend/girlfriend because well, toxic - giving that person a chance over and over because he/she had one good day - that's a moment of happiness we stay content in. Or knowing that eating fast food every single day will be bad for you in the long run but excusing it with
It was a hard day
(which turns into every day)
never really solves your problems.
Moving on,
relate this to your own personal life. Eating habits, daily activities, time management, how we treat and speak to ourselves. We only want to be nice to ourselves when something good happens, when we feel happy enough & when we truly feel we deserve it. Side note: we always deserve it, even when shit is going down. Bad days are not bad days - be happy in every single moment because this moment is your life. These past few weeks (carrying on some 2018 burdens, about to cut this sh*t right now) I have been feeling like I am on this cycle & this cycle just keeps going on over and over again each week. I felt/feel stuck. Sometimes I get so drawn in to my responsibilities and how I want to get where I want to get (working for the man, in my case), that I forget I am limiting myself. I am so content with my current situation that I loose sight on the important things I really want for myself. Content meaning I am on a schedule, every day is the same thing and I forget about all the other great opportunities I could be partaking in, just because I’m comfortable. I am such a busy body, always going above and beyond for things that wont benefit me to my fullest potential, because well I am a nice person, which is fine - but remember don’t get sucked into what societies perception of comfort, living and lifestyle ways should be. Find your voice, your passion & and only get comfortable when you know it’s all about you.
& as always, be kind to yourself. Embrace & applaud yourself for the accomplishments this never ending roller coaster has gotten you so far, just never give up.
Throw in a yoga class, read a new book, challenge yourself. Ive been on this constant battle with myself for months now - I need to cut gluten out of my diet, I need to take better care of my health, but I am so consistent in not making a change because my cycle is easy, I work my ass off, I go to school full time.. The schedule I am on is comfortable, it is easier to not disrupt it - big no no! I am ready to disrupt this shit.
Join me in doing at least one new thing a week.
You never know! It could turn into something you really enjoy doing.
Breaking barriers is a scary but exhilarating feeling, its worth a shot baes!
Moving on to the main topic of discussion:
Comfortability in love -
Ask me last year what I felt about love & Id probably say:
‘Love is so over rated’
I’m such a critic. It’s hard dealing with a voice in your head not knowing what you want, but I know we all got it.. that voice. It’s funny because I do love, love. And I love the respect and unity a relationship brings.
I always seemed to go after the wrong guys & it showed.. every single time! I was on this cycle, comfortable - going after less than I deserved, realizing it was because I lacked self confidence. Not because I wasn’t aware of my worth but because loving myself was always harder than I thought.. Easier to be comfortable in the idea of someone else loving me more than I could love myself.
Ive broken a few hearts, lets face it - I’m a catch! Ha. *awkwardly laughs, not really*
This time... I was on the back burner. Ya girl got dumped.
A lot of you know this from my previous post.
I am completely okay with sharing this portion of my life because we all go through it. I waited a while to discuss this topic,
1. Because sorry not sorry, sometimes a community of people can be worse than the FBI
&
2. I wanted to write this fully level headed.
You can be with
whoever,
whenever,
whatever
time you feel like because love has no time line. Isn’t it strange that no one questions how easy it is to love something materialistic but the minute someone embraces love for another human being its an issue?
I love strangers even with out communicating with them sometimes!
We are a force, we radiate energy and vibrations because that is exactly what we are meant to do!
We are meant to love and feel whenever we choose to do so.
There is absolutely no time line on how you feel, love & embrace something or someone.
& that is exactly how my story unfolds.
Stay tuned..
xoxo,
Krystle Carrissa