Hey everyone,
Happy Tuesday!
I wanted to write a semi mid-week post about my progress with school! The Fall semester is finally coming to an end, finals are approaching, projects are due, and the stress of it all is finally going away. Not many are brave enough to share any academic struggles or failures they have experienced or are currently experiencing, so I decided to share mine. I hope this sheds light on anyone who is presently facing hardship in their academic career's, and I hope you know, you are not alone.
So, High school! What a bore *rolls eyes*
Those were the best/worst four years of my life. I made friends that turned into family, and some who became foes. I went to a brand-new school not knowing anyone, and quite frankly the administrative team didn't know much about running a school either... But let's face it, I graduated, I passed all my classes with, for the most part, were decent grades. I committed myself to after-school activities, I grew as a person, and I failed as a person. I enjoyed every minute of it, and that is what matters.
2014: Applying for college was such a bittersweet feeling. To be honest, I never felt confident in myself academically. When it came time for an exam, I was a nervous wreck. I'd make songs and poems out of the material so that I'd remember it all. (I still do that btw, it works lol.) My fears had always gotten the best of me. But there I was, applying for something that held the fate of my future.
The ending of the senior year came around, and it was time for everyone to start receiving their acceptance letters from colleges.
I remember so vividly being home that Saturday morning. The mail came & all I could hear was my mother running upstairs with a massive packet labeling Pace University.
"Congratulations Krystle, we are proud to inform, that you have been accepted to Pace University for the Fall 2014 semester."
I nearly dropped to the floor. I was full of so much excitement I didn't know what to say! I was proud because I felt good enough. Pace University opened my eyes to know that, I; as I am was good enough for a great college. I was wanted by a committee that thought I had the grades and the commitment to attend their school. I accepted right away!
Fast forwarding to the summer... I started a great job at a hotel in Tribeca. I worked as a front desk agent, and I loved every minute of it. For those of you who do not know, I consider myself a workaholic. By the age of 16, I had my first two jobs working at Aeropostale Times Square, & Hollister Co. 5th Ave. I never gave up on my motivation to get out into the real world, and experience 'real world' things. I loved the idea of making my own money and doing as I pleased. I was raised to be independent, and I am so proud that I carry that trait. Having this hotel job meant so much, that when the fall semester finally rolled around, it crushed me to have to leave. But I had to do what was needed of me. College was my focus, and I intended to go out and make the world mine.
Pace University, September 2014: College life started to kick in! I felt so small in such a vast academic world. I attended my classes daily; I asked questions, I even joined a few clubs. Two months into the semester, I found myself depressed. Pace University was nothing my dreams made it out to be. It wasn't because I wasn't used to the college experience. I did all my work; I understood the material, I even liked my classes. But the school.. was not for me. I was a business major and decided that that was something I was honestly not interested in. Thankful to have parents that I have, I chose to speak with them about my issue. They understood how I felt and allowed me to take the semester off, to think about what it was I wanted to pursue.
That semester turned into another great job, which then turned into an entire year off from College. Talk about a setback... I was determined to go back and continue my studies, just didn't know where to start. My mind is a big ball of thoughts that continuously crowd my judgment on things. I finally made the step and enrolled in a community college. It was cheaper, more convenient, and it allowed me some time to think about what it was I wanted to study. I applied for criminal justice, but a semester in, I realized that just wasn't for me either. I then finally settled on communications. It took me a year and a half to figure this out, and I could not be any happier.
I currently study at the same community college, with the same major in Communications, and I am soon to graduate with my Associates this Spring.
What a journey it has been...
I was always so hard on myself about my decisions with school. I always came across friends, family & even people on social media that were graduating and moving on & I felt so hurt that I was so far behind. Up until recently, I struggled with accepting the way things are. I have come to a realization that, just because I have yet to graduate with a Bachelorโs Degree, I have yet to begin at a college thatโs 'better' than a community, that does not make me any less. I am so proud of who I am, what I have gone through and what I have learned throughout this long journey. I am so proud of those who knew what they wanted to study, where they wanted to go and those who have graduated and are making their way into a Masterโs program. I applaud those who landed an internship, or a job that benefits themselves for the future. I am MOST proud that one day, that will be me.
My progress is my timeline of events. My future does not run at the time of others. What matters is that I have not & will not ever give up. If there is no struggle, there is no progress. You and I may not be where we want to be, but hell with that; we are NOT where we used to be, and that is a significant accomplishment. The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you've come, to see the growth of your journey & always remember supporting another's success, will not ever dampen yours.
So, for those of you who have struggled, who have made decisions you are not proud of, for those who quit school because you felt it was not for you, I understand. Giving up is just not an option.
Find your place in this world, and I promise you; life's journey will be that much more worthwhile.
Here I am! Three jobs down, significant exposure to things I thought I'd never experience, a few credits away from receiving my first degree, and the excitement of applying to grad school. Life ain't easy, but no one said it would be.
I thank the support of my parents, my advisors, mentors, friends & loved one. If it isn't for positive people in your life, it would be that much harder. Surround yourself with those who want to see you succeed. They are, along with your own decisions, are the foundation of the life you build.
xx,
Krystle